The following should provide a basis for all to understand that my brother found his 'god' no later than October 2002. You don't just wake up able to quote scripture overnight so one would have to 'assume' that my brother had been studying the bible for some time. He may have joined his current church in 2007 but that just gave him a place to be among other similar thinkers. Just my opinion...I could be wrong...but I seriously doubt it.
Let me begin with as I last spoke with my brother (October 2002) it was made perfectly
clear to me about my life and lifestyle. If the following applies to me (and my
wife) then logically it applies to all others as well. It doesn’t matter what
religion you believe in folks. If you aren’t ‘saved’ “you’re a pagan believer”.
If you don’t live your life as he expects you to live it you are a “pagan
believer”. If you're a NASCAR fan, whether or not you go to races, you're a
"pagan believer practicing Pagan Rituals". If you have sex with your
wife for reasons other than procreation...you're a "pagan believer".
If you've not been 'saved' and 'saved' by his god you're a pagan believer. If
you're black, Asian, Mexican, gay, or don't go to a church of his liking...
YOU'RE A PAGAN BELIEVER! If you're a college graduate, educated in some way or
something other than what he thinks you should be or act...guess what
folks...YOU'RE a PAGAN BELIEVER!! Are we getting on the same page yet? The list
is all but endless. If he doesn't tell you to your face he's thinking it after
he leaves your presence.
First of all I want to leave a note to my brother’s wife. Mom despised you
and wasn’t going to your wedding no matter how she was doing. You cheated on
your husband with my brother and mom held that against you from day one. Mom
was a very ‘moral’ person and some of the things she said about you were
outright funny! She tolerated you at best because you were a part of my
brother’s life and we did the same after we got to know you. Some advice for
you: When you talk about others behind
their backs one can easily assume that you’re doing the same about them to
others. Oh yeah...do you think it was just sheer coincidence that she died just about the time you exchanged vows? She told me she was going to try and hold on to do just that!!
I guess the first thing I need to bring to
everyone's attention is that in May of 2002 I arrived at my mother's home
and within minutes of my brother leaving she went to great lengths to 'warn' me
of two things concerning my brother. I should let you know that at this time my
mother was dying. Her Pancreatic Cancer was coming back (she'd had a 'Whipple'
procedure 3.5 years earlier) and this time the cancer was going to take her
from us. Done deal, Mom was dying.
The first thing she wanted to make me aware of was that my brother had
"perverted" religion from what we had been raised as Episcopalians
and that he used it to justify all that he said and did in words and actions.
The second thing she wanted to make me aware of was that my brother and his at
that time fiancé Patty (they were to marry in late June) were saying
"horrible" things not only about me but her wonderful 'Lainey' (my
lovely wife Elaine) and that I was to believe nothing that he may say to me
about what my mother 'agreed' with that they said about us. Mom told me that it
was the easiest way for her to "shut them up" when they started to
say things about us. Mom made it clear that the things she enjoyed with “her
Lainey” (gardening, sewing, cooking and another that escapes my mind) were
things my brother’s had no interest in and that she was a “cheater” and once a
“cheater” always a “cheater”. Plain honest truth so get used to it. About time
you heard the truth.
Honestly I never paid much attention to what she said but it stuck in my mind.
She was dying and was under the effect of growing amounts of morphine to dull
the pain. It was simply amazing how she could rest and then talk with such
clarity for some time if you were just patient and quiet with her. Over time
during my time there she would expand on her original comments and in all
honestly I wondered where this stuff was coming from in her mind. My brother
and his soon to be wife was nice enough to me, and my lovely Elaine, but we
knew something was 'different' in how they treated us.
After a number of trips back and forth to
Delaware
from Tennessee (I did have a business that
needed my attention as well as being in Delaware
to help in caring for my mother) mom passed in late June of 2002. Actually it
was the very evening of my brother's marriage. Maybe later on I'll detail
'dislike' of Patty but that's not the intent of this page.
During my visits mom continued to warn me. She was very serious about it. My
brother would lose his temper easily and she wanted only for me to make it
possible for them not to be around much so that she could enjoy the peace and
quiet. Mom continued to expand on how my brother had 'perverted' religion to
his needs and uses and it wasn't until she was about gone that I got a glimpse
of what she had been speaking about. My brother had apparently gone to great
lengths to select rather rare, but perfectly usable scripture that varied from
the normal Episcopal wedding vows. Even the priest (Father Peters) commented
about it as the vows were starting. I have no idea what they were but they
revolved around servitude and submission to the husband and as they were being
read my lovely Elaine and understood just how odd it was that those particular
verses were selected. All we knew was that if a woman wanted to marry a man to
those vows she really wanted to be married to the man!!
That was our first real insight into my brother's knowledge of scripture. June
of 2002.
OK...That all said and done I limited my contact with my brother because he
wasn't much fun to deal with during phone conversations after our mother
passed. Not wanting to cause issues I just avoided contact with him until I
called him in early/mid October of 2002. Our last conversation started out as
best described as 'cordial' and I wanted to offer him an opportunity to let me
know what was bothering him about me. HE DID EXACTLY THAT IN A NO HOLDS BARRED
MANNER!
On my dime, he took great pleasure in letting me know, using scripture the
entire time just how bad a person I was in so many ways. Not only how I lived
my life but the lifestyle Elaine and I had lived for so many years. I just kept
giving him the rope and he kept hanging himself. All of the things mom had
warned me about were now coming out in a big way. I was beginning to get a
little bit upset with him for the things he said about me while carefully
avoiding saying anything about my lovely Elaine. Well folks...let's face the
facts here and understand that at that time we'd been happily married over 20
years and if you said something about one you were saying it about the other.
My lovely Elaine and I can finish each others sentences most of the time. By
now I'm getting really pissed off and things got ugly. He made it clear that
our having a sex life was a bad thing unless we were planning on having
children...and that wasn't going to happen!! We like our sex life! This was all
news to me! Everything from our going to NASCAR races and
Tennessee football games was against what he
'proved' to me, as pagan beliefs and rituals, through use of the scripture. I
got one hell of a wake up call.
All of the things mom had warned me about concerning our lifestyle together
were being brought up now. He was wailing away about my business practices and
all my successes know to him at the time. I was at best nothing less than Satan
and everything I did in life was against what was written in the bible.
Talk about being 'blind sided' I'd had a two by four to the head over the phone
lines. By the time the call ended (still on my dime) I'd made it clear we were
done talking forever. If he hated my life and lifestyle that much I'd gladly
remove Paul and Elaine from his life right then and there but that's NOT what
he wanted! He demanded us to see things his way through the bible and
scripture. Well that was not, and never (I use the word 'never' sparingly) was
going to happen in any way shape or form. We could never celebrate a ‘god’ that
hates so many people for so many different things
So for now I just want to let all of you know that if you're not 'saved' by his
god you are a "pagan believer". If you're a NASCAR fan, whether or
not you go to races, you're a "pagan believer practicing Pagan
Rituals". If you have sex with your wife for reasons other than
procreation...you're a "pagan believer". If you've not been 'saved'
and 'saved' by his god you're a pagan believer. If you're black, Asian,
Mexican, gay, or don't go to a church of his liking... YOU'RE A PAGAN BELIEVER!
If you're a college graduate, educated in some way or something other than what
he thinks you should be or act...guess what folks...YOU'RE a PAGAN BELIEVER!!
The list is all but endless. If he doesn't tell you to your face he's thinking
it after he leaves your presence.
I apologize to no one that I enjoy a lustful desire for my lovely Elaine. I
apologize to no one that I enjoy NASCAR racing be it on TV or being there in
person. I apologize to no one for making a NEW fire truck happen and all of the
things we do behind the scenes to make life easier for others. Occasionally I
even have an opportunity to have an alcohol beverage (I refuse to drink and
drive) and not be the designated driver but that makes me...you got it...a
PAGAN BELIEVER.
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